The things you do for a decent sermon...

Nate and I are, unfortunately, STILL looking for a church to call home out here in West Virginia. It's really surprising, considering how freaking many people there are out here, how few truly-Bible-preaching-as-well-as-good-fellowship churches there are in the area. Like, none that we have found. Yesterday we tried a church in Middletown (which is in the middle, between Frederick, MD and Charles Town, WV) and heard a sermon that can pretty much be summed up in this:

"Okay, everyone turn to Acts 14. Here is what John 3 says... You see, in the diagram, we were on one side and God was on the other. But the cross makes a bridge! And I realized I was frustrated with the Coke machine. Frustrated with the Diet Coke button. Frustrated with the coin return. Frustrated with the drop box. And you know, sometimes we get frustrated with life, but God wants to fix that! When the stewardess asked what the man next to me wanted, he said, 'Beer.' Not Miller Light or Budweiser, just "Beer." And I realized God wanted me to share the gospel with this man. Because Franklin Graham is coming to Baltimore, and hundreds of people with him. Let's bow our heads..."

I am not even joking. Nate and I tried to be respectful, but we laughed the whole way home, just in total disbelief that this message came from the HEAD pastor of a GROWING church.

Thankfully, a sermon series we had ordered from College Wesleyan Church (which I am beginning to think is the last Bible-preaching church left on the planet) arrived not long ago, so we pulled out the tapes and prepared to get some good teaching when we realized that we didn't have a tape player. Must have ordered tapes because it was cheaper, overlooking the fact that we didn't have a way to play them. Except in Nate's car. So yes, we put the tape in the car tape player, rolled all the windows down, and pulled up our lawn chairs to hear the sermon. But we don't have lawn chairs plural, you say. This is true. So we pulled out THE lawn chair and dragged out the wicker rocker as well.

But it gets better. We had also had a rough couple of days at the office beforehand, and on Saturday night had purchased a six-pack of Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade. So we are out on our lawn, sitting on a camping chair and a wicker rocker, playing a sermon by a Wesleyan pastor on the car stereo at near-full volume as we drink hard lemonade. We even got a picture to prove it.



FYI, the dog was not drinking hard lemonade. He always looks like that.

Hope this makes you more fully appreciate your Sunday morning service. :)