God's Gym

Do you ever get the feeling that you are a twinkie in a sea of rice cakes? That sharp, clear understanding that you definitely do not blend well with your current surroundings? That you stand out like a white guy on an NBA team?

I grew up in the church and have had Scripture quoted to me, reminding me that I am not of this world, and the world will reject me because I am Christ's and they rejected Him first...it is one thing to hear that and quite another to actually experience it. For those of you who don't already know, I started working at our local Gold's Gym last month (making my twinkie analogy all the more fitting), and in the past 30 days I have felt the difference between me and the world more intensely than I have ever felt it before.

Lots of the women I work with tan frequently, have perfect hair, have perfectly toned bodies, and have had breast implants. They look terrific and I am not condeming or judging them for these things in anyway...I am just way more aware of my white hind end that has never seen the light of day, my haircut that is not exactly what I had wanted, my not-so-toned areas and my small womanly curves. Some days I walk into work and just wish I could get through the day without anyone seeing me because I feel so frumpy next to these other women.

But my not fitting in goes way deeper than looks. It is painfully obvious that my priorities/morals/choices are in stark contrast to those of my co-workers. I work with gay people who often share details of their private life; I work with people who come in Monday and exchange drinking stories from the weekend; I work with people who are not married but are living together; I work with people who are not married or living together but are having sex; I work with guys who stand around my front desk area and talk about other women, make sexual jokes and/or comments that though not directed at me, often make me wish my small features were even smaller because I can't stand the thought of what they might be saying when I'm not around.

Yes, I know that the fact that these things shock me so much points out how sheltered I am. I know that this is how the world is now and that this work environment is not unlike any other. I know that I should just get over it and accept that these things are part of men/life. Or should I? Shouldn't I be bothered by some of these things? Just by reading the Scriptures, it is clear that God does not approve of anything I just mentioned, so why should I?

The working out of how to be in this world but not of it has been an area of slow growth for me. I really love the people I work with and truly enjoy them time I spend with them. It is just hard to know how to love and support the person but not love and support the actions, all the while trying to keep my light out from under a bushel but avoiding burning the place down with words of fire and brimstone.

Often when I am typing "Gold's Gym" I will miss the "l" and type "God's Gym." While I do think the "L" key is in an awkward place, I also think God is reminding me that it is, ultimately, His gym; that He loves those people, too, and that He has plans for them and wants them to come to Him as much as He loves you or I and wanted us to come to Him. I am both honored and humbled at the thought that He might want to use me to reach some of them...like Moses, I am tempted to think up some excuse to avoid opening my mouth to my co-workers ("Lord, I can't speak to these people! I have small boobs!"), but I am trying to remain open and willing.

If you think of it, pray for the people at God's Gym this week.