Half Time

Okay, before you read this, I need to clarify that Nate is normally really good about not watching TV all night long or sitting at the computer for hours on end like lots of men do. Football season may prove a bit different, but for the most part, he is not at all a couch-zombie husband, as is evident by all the photos of our outdoor adventures. :) End of disclaimer.

So Nate is into this Fantasy Football thing, and while we don't have a whole lot else to do at work these days, it seems to me that he spends an awful lot of time glued to the computer screen with the occasional outburst of, "Argh! Put him back in! I need points!" or "Grr! Are you kidding me?!?!" or "YESSSSSSS! *insert Napoleon Dynamite fist pump*".

First, this makes me nervous because it is quite similar to what caused our coffee table to ignite a few weeks ago. But second, in my failed attempts to talk to and/or have any sort of meaningful conversation with my husband while he is engaged in such an activity as accumulating fake points with a fake team in a fake football league, I am reminded of just how powerful of a thing media can be, and I am starting to realize all the little ways it works its way into our lives. We can't go anywhere without our cell phones. The first thing we do when we get to work is check our e-mail, read up on our friends' blogs, and scan for the latest world news report. The radio is almost always on in the car. As soon as we get home at night we check the answering machine. We will interrupt dinner and/or quiet time with the Lord to answer the phone.

I see this need to be connected to the world robbing us of precious time with God and with other humans. Nate and I do not talk to each other very much if the radio is on in the car, and we do not talk to each other when we are staring at separate computers at work. I cannot have a serious conversation with the Lord if I keep getting up to talk to someone calling on the phone. I cannot show Nate he is important to me by listening to what he has to say if I choose to watch TV as he speaks or answer the phone in the middle of his sentence. So often we as a society choose to make machines and gadgets a higher priority than a face in front of us (or one that is trying to be in front of us, if we would stop looking at the computer or TV screen). As one whose primary love language is quality time, I am really sensitive to being given what I call Half Time, meaning either you are only talking to me because there has been some sort of break in what you were watching/playing, or if it isn't in a break, you are only half-listening to what I am saying or half-looking at me, with one eye still on the game.

I do not mean to make a cheesy devotional out of this, but as I sat here typing, I wondered if God doesn't get sick of the Half Time I give Him. How many times have I knelt in prayer only to be half talking to Him and half making a mental list of things to do that day? How many times have I committed to change something or committed to do something He is asking of me, only to half carry it out? To obey some parts but not others? To let go of part of a grudge but not the whole thing? I could sit here all day and tell you all the ways I rob God of my time, my energy, my love, and in turn I rob myself of blessing and deeper intimacy with Him.

I am seriously considering a media fast in the near future. I think it would really help me re-evaluate my time spending habits and teach me a few things about the kind of time and attention I give to others.